Requiem For A Feeling
Exams are over and im extremely relieved....but then i cant help feeling depressed at the same time....woke up this morning and was greeted with a cloudy and gloomy sky...as im typing, heavy raindrops fall... tears from heaven...very appropriate cos im crying inside...
Yesterday i had lunch wit someone i really care bout...it was in summer 2003 that i 1st met up with her(in KL,Malaysia)...it had been years since i'd seen her cos she was a former high school classmate...incidently she was one of the gals who sat behind me in class...anyways since then, weve been meeting up pretty regular in London as well...up until now...in July i'll be back in Malaysia and she'll be in UK for at least 2 more years...doesnt take a genius to see where all this is going...
I could go on and on about her personality and why i really like her...but i wont cos it'll onli make me feel worse...in many ways i blame myself....was it my lack of effort? because i seldom call? because i dont express myself enough?....sigh..it seems all my relationships go to the shithole...is this love im feeling?...what isit?....in Matrix Revolutions, a program told Neo that "Love is just a word, the reality is the connection it implies"...how true...there is a connection between us...but a connection that time and distance will sever....call me pessimistic, but im also a realist...its a fact and i know it...somehow this fact makes it harder for me to let go...
In a way its good that both of us have been avoiding this topic...i guess if we really brought it out it would haf been much worse...she's busy wit her work and i had my exams to worry about...so we really didnt haf time for a solid relationship....something i really wanted but never happened...but then im really grateful for the few hours on weekends that i got to spend time wit her...its not much but its all i had and i'll never forget them...im already starting to miss her
Closing another chapter in my life...
Yesterday i had lunch wit someone i really care bout...it was in summer 2003 that i 1st met up with her(in KL,Malaysia)...it had been years since i'd seen her cos she was a former high school classmate...incidently she was one of the gals who sat behind me in class...anyways since then, weve been meeting up pretty regular in London as well...up until now...in July i'll be back in Malaysia and she'll be in UK for at least 2 more years...doesnt take a genius to see where all this is going...
I could go on and on about her personality and why i really like her...but i wont cos it'll onli make me feel worse...in many ways i blame myself....was it my lack of effort? because i seldom call? because i dont express myself enough?....sigh..it seems all my relationships go to the shithole...is this love im feeling?...what isit?....in Matrix Revolutions, a program told Neo that "Love is just a word, the reality is the connection it implies"...how true...there is a connection between us...but a connection that time and distance will sever....call me pessimistic, but im also a realist...its a fact and i know it...somehow this fact makes it harder for me to let go...
In a way its good that both of us have been avoiding this topic...i guess if we really brought it out it would haf been much worse...she's busy wit her work and i had my exams to worry about...so we really didnt haf time for a solid relationship....something i really wanted but never happened...but then im really grateful for the few hours on weekends that i got to spend time wit her...its not much but its all i had and i'll never forget them...im already starting to miss her
Closing another chapter in my life...
posted by ignitemyfire at 12:25 pm
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